Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 6
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This week I’ve read Chapter 5 of ‘Overcoming UnderEarning’ by Barbara Stanny. Lots of good stuff in here, this will take a while.
In this chapter Barbara goes through step 2 of the 5 steps to make you a ‘doer’.
Step 2: Make a Decision
I have to quote some parts from the first part of the chapter which really stood out for me.
“Not one of us will ever make more money until we explicitly decide that’s what we want to do. I saw this with every six-figure woman I spoke to.”
She then explains that a decision is not the same as the goal you set for yourself. “A decision is a promise you make to yourself, a declaration of intention, that says you’re willing to walk through fire to make it happen. ”
Personally, I can say – I am ready to walk through fire to make it happen!
“Making a decision means slamming shut all the doors to other options, blocking off the exits, and, no matter what happens, keep moving toward your destination because anything else is unacceptable.”
Barbara then relates a few examples then there’s an exercise: Making Your Decision. I haven’t finished going through it yet.
Next she talks about “The Grand Conundrum“: a “deeply embedded, rarely conscious, internal conflict, often between the comfort motive and profit motive”. She also explains about how it is necessary to live in a way that is consistent with your values – there can be no dispute between your values and goals. The next exercise involves listing out your values.
Once you make the decision she says 3 things will happen:
1) Coincidences – “You need to be stubborn about the results you’re going for, but very flexible on how you get there.” (This is something I’m getting better at, but still need to work on. I can get too caught up in doing a particular thing and lose sight of why I was doing it to start with and not realize there are other ways of getting to the same point.) It seems that once you are really determined to do something, some opportunities just seem to pop up out of nowhere.
2) Changes in other areas of your life – taking charge of your life is likely to result in some sort of ‘shake up’ – possibly both positive and negative. (When I read this what popped in my mind was Caroline Middlebrook and some of the things she’s talked about in her blog.)
3) Resistance – “Resistance emerges as soon as you enter the Discomfort Zone, the space between where you are now and where you want to be”. Barbara then lists 12 signs of being in resistance. I won’t list them all here, just the ones that stood out to me:
— You’re scared into inaction
— You fog up, space out
— You feel paralyzed
— You find reason not to act
I think the first one, fear, is what affects me the most. Lastly there is a section about decoding resistance and an exercise.
Ok – I’m I am ready to walk through fire now! I’m not letting fear hold me back!
Next time – Chapter 6.
Time for my favorite quote from this chapter:
“Money is a guarantee that we can have what we want in the future.”
— Aristotle
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Related Posts:
- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 7
- Book Review: ‘Overcoming UnderEarning’ Part 11
- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 5
June 5, 2008
Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 5
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This week I’ve read Chapter 4 of ‘Overcoming UnderEarning’ by Barbara Stanny.
Starting with this chapter Barbara goes through the 5 steps to make you a ‘doer’.
Step 1: Tell the Truth
“Telling the truth is a prerequisite for higher pay.”
There are 4 exercises* in this chapter.
Exercise 1: Pinpointing the Problems
In this exercise she has a Problem Indicator Checklist. It seems to be mostly points about how you handle your money. Now for me that isn’t the problem. I can take care of the money I have quite well. My problem is not being able to make more.
Exercise 2: Digging Down to the Roots
These have to do with how you feel about money and where you may have learned these responses. She also quotes in this section from Oliver Wendell Holmes “All limitations are self-imposed”. Now I don’t think this is literally true – there are just some things I wouldn’t be able to do due to size, age and other things. But, what I really would like to be able to do at this point in my life I’m pretty sure I am capable of doing.
Exercise 3: Replacing Beliefs
Here we are supposed to list everything we believe about ourselves and money and write a new belief to replace the old one. In my case I wouldn’t really know what to write here. I think my problem has more to do with my inability to be able to see myself as the type of person who could be earning that much money. As much as I want it, people who are really successful seem somehow different from me and I have doubts about if I can really do what they are doing.
Time for my favorite quote from this chapter:
“The truth is the only safe ground to stand on.”
Next time – Chapter 5.
*the first exercise had 2 parts, I think that is how she counted 4 exercises
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- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 10
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May 29, 2008
Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 4
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This week I’ve read the second half of Chapter 3 of ‘Overcoming UnderEarning’ by Barbara Stanny.
This next section is titled: “The Most Important Financial Advice You’ll Ever Get”. And the answer is:
You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Its making me nervous already … so basically, we have to change to increase our earnings – and that change will be discomforting. At first anyway.
Kind of an aside, but she mentions that she’s met women who didn’t start making lots of money until they were in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s – that makes me feel hopeful!
Barbara ends this chapter with ‘Eight Rules for Achieving Remarkable Results’. I can’t list them all here in part because I’m too lazy and a slow typist to type it all in – also maybe she doesn’t want me giving away too much of her book for free.
But here’s the ones I thought were best – underearning can no longer be an option, keep your commitments, don’t let yourself get derailed, do what you dread.
She mentions that if you don’t do what you say you are going to, it chips away at your self-esteem. I think she has a point there. I’ve definitely let outside distractions keep me from doing some of the things I know I need to, to be successful and then I feel bad about it.
Anyone else experience this?
Time for my favorite quote from this section:
“The only thing money gives you is the freedom to not worry about money.”
— Johnny Carson
Next time – Chapter 4.
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- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 10
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May 22, 2008
Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 3
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This week I’ve only had time to read half of Chapter 3 of ‘Overcoming UnderEarning’ by Barbara Stanny.
In the first paragraph Barbara writes “the key to upping your earnings is rarely working longer hours …” – yeah, that’s what I’m doing now. I’m working pretty much every waking hour, except on weekends.
She talks more then about how high earners ‘think’ differently which results in different choices and outcomes. And some of the inner voices that tend to hold us back like “you do not have what it takes”. (I hear that one sometimes myself. I think, I don’t know if I can do what someone like Wendy Piersall‘s done.)
She goes on about how to be able to shift your thinking you need to do both Inner Work and Outer Work. Inner Work has a lot to do with self esteem and included in the book is a ‘Self-Esteem Inventory’. I can’t write all of it out here though, but I will say that some of them apply to me, and most likely to many women.
According to Barbara women tend to put others before ourselves and tend to feel like we are being selfish if we don’t. It is most likely the way we are raised. Many women, more so than men, tend to be raised to believe that we are supposed to take care of others and as a result we neglect ourselves.
One result of this is not recognizing or valuing our own worth – including how much money we deserve to make. Then many women feel guilty when they want to do more for themselves – whether it be for their careers, health or financial situation.
My favorite quote from this section:
“Don’t forget to love yourself.”
— Soren Kierkegaard
Next time – the rest of Chapter 2.
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- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 5
- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 4
May 15, 2008
Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 2
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In chapter two Barbara tells us that one common trait of underearners is “a high tolerance for low pay“. Now I wouldn’t say I’m ‘tolerating’ low pay – but maybe I am. I don’t like it, but I haven’t changed the situation.
Even though I’m sure I am an underearner she also says that “Even if you’re not a bona fide underearner, the principles in this book will definitely help you get ahead“.
She then lists 10 traits of underearners. I’m not going to list them all here but I will list the two that I think especially apply to me:
Underearners underestimate their worth – I’m pretty sure I do this
Underearners are self-saboteurs – “procrastinate, take on too much, become scattered and distracted” – I know I do this!
She goes on to say that while there are sometimes things that happen that are beyond our control, most of the 10 traits mentioned are things we can control. She also spoke a bit about empowerment.
My favorite quote from this chapter:
“Work your fingers to the bone, what do you get? Boney fingers. Boney fingers.”
— Hoyt Axton
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- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 6
- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 8
- Overcoming Underearning: Book Review Part 5
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