Comments on: Finding a balance between work and family http://www.ideasforwomen.com/news/blog/2008/06/17/finding-a-balance-between-work-and-family/ News and Issues About Women Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:22:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: ThinkingWoman http://www.ideasforwomen.com/news/blog/2008/06/17/finding-a-balance-between-work-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-23308 ThinkingWoman Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:02:02 +0000 http://www.ideasforwomen.com/news/?p=223#comment-23308 I had both my kids while attempting to write my PhD dissertation. I remember someone saying to me that you can't do both jobs well. He was right, and the one who paid for the stress of trying to do both things well (mothering and being an academic) was me; after graduating, getting a teaching job, and trying to do everything for several years I eventually suffered a serious burnout. I feel a little resentful that our generation grew up believing we could do anything and everything. It's true we can do anything, but we can't do everything at the same time and keep our sanity, unless we have tons of help and/or don't mind not being fully present (not just physically but mentally and emotionally) as a parent. Coming to terms with the fact that I couldn't be a tenure-track, publishing academic while being the mom I wanted to be was the best thing I've done for my kids. I don't think there's an easy solution. I had both my kids while attempting to write my PhD dissertation. I remember someone saying to me that you can’t do both jobs well. He was right, and the one who paid for the stress of trying to do both things well (mothering and being an academic) was me; after graduating, getting a teaching job, and trying to do everything for several years I eventually suffered a serious burnout. I feel a little resentful that our generation grew up believing we could do anything and everything. It’s true we can do anything, but we can’t do everything at the same time and keep our sanity, unless we have tons of help and/or don’t mind not being fully present (not just physically but mentally and emotionally) as a parent. Coming to terms with the fact that I couldn’t be a tenure-track, publishing academic while being the mom I wanted to be was the best thing I’ve done for my kids. I don’t think there’s an easy solution.

]]> By: rjleaman http://www.ideasforwomen.com/news/blog/2008/06/17/finding-a-balance-between-work-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-23305 rjleaman Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:15:20 +0000 http://www.ideasforwomen.com/news/?p=223#comment-23305 That is truly shocking in this day and age! One would have thought that attitudes were changing more quickly than that. I wonder if the academic tradition makes for a harder uphill battle for women in that world than in the world of business, or if the business world is equally antiquated, still... Flashback to the early days of the women's movement (have you seen this paper from 1971 http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/marxists/archive/reed-evelyn/1971/biology-destiny.htm ?) and sometimes one has to wonder what has changed. On the other hand, I do recall reading somewhere that the US Census Bureau identified stay-at-home fathers a one of the fastest growing employment groups, so perhaps we're not necessarily sliding backwards here! One would like to think so. That is truly shocking in this day and age! One would have thought that attitudes were changing more quickly than that. I wonder if the academic tradition makes for a harder uphill battle for women in that world than in the world of business, or if the business world is equally antiquated, still…

Flashback to the early days of the women’s movement (have you seen this paper from 1971 http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/marxists/archive/reed-evelyn/1971/biology-destiny.htm ?) and sometimes one has to wonder what has changed.

On the other hand, I do recall reading somewhere that the US Census Bureau identified stay-at-home fathers a one of the fastest growing employment groups, so perhaps we’re not necessarily sliding backwards here! One would like to think so.

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