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What do you think of only-children? Freak diseases or high achievers?
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In a recent article in Newsweek, Kathleen Deveny discusses issues surrounding families with only one child – Why Only-Children Rule.
She says that back in 1896 psychologist G. Stanley Hall claimed that “being an only child is a disease in itself“. A disease?
But recent research by Douglas Downey (Ohio State University) shows that kids from smaller families do “better on standardized tests, earn higher grades and stay in school longer” and that “As the number of siblings increases you see a steady decline in performance for all the children in the family”.
Author and social psychologist Susan Newman wrote a book called “Parenting An Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only“. She says that “the myths of the lonely, spoiled, bossy only child” are just that – myths.
Many people who have only one child feel guilty about it – whether it was by choice or not – and worry that their child won’t have other kids to play with, etc. or that other people will think their child is spoiled or lonely.
Of course people have many personal reasons for the number of children they have or don’t have. Regardless of the reasons – or even if the stereotypes had some truth to them – kids from all family sizes shouldn’t be assumed to be freaks or over achievers. They should be treated an individuals.
What do you think? Do you think the stereotypes of only-children are still out there? How do you think those stereotypes affect only-children?
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4 Responses to 'What do you think of only-children? Freak diseases or high achievers?'
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on July 18th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Brain research explains why stereotypes form and why they stick. For that information and more on only children, check out my blog at Psychology Today magazine: Singletons (http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons)
on July 20th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Thanks, that’s interesting!
Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting! I didn’t know you had a blog – I will have to subscribe to it and to some of the others that Psychology Today has too!
on June 18th, 2009 at 6:35 am
he stereotype of the only child is harsh – spoilt, over-protected, egocentric and lacking in independence and social skills. Is there any truth in this?
Well, research suggests that the biggest single problem faced by only children is their sense that people perceive them in this stereotypical way! They often feel out of place in a society that assumes it’s normal to have siblings; though this perception is changing as families get smaller.
However, there is one problem often reported by only children, especially later in life: it can be a very lonely state. Many people deeply regret not having had siblings as they grow older.
on July 5th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Apart from this sense of being “different” there is not much evidence that only children suffer unduly from the expected problems such as over-dependence, being unable to share etc. Certainly, these thing can arise in small families, but most children soon outgrow them, especially if their parents encourage them to be sociable and self-reliant. In fact, statistically only children are slightly more likely to succeed academically and in the workplace.
However, there is one problem often reported by only children, especially later in life: it can be a very lonely state. Many people deeply regret not having had siblings as they grow older.
There is a website for only children which includes a list of books on the subject: