At Blogging Baby there is an interesting discussion about what is the ‘most challenging thing about being a parent?’

Now, I don’t have kids yet but we are in the middle of paperwork for adopting and I often wonder about these kinds of questions myself.

The author of the post, Sarah Gilbert, says that for her it is ‘between the ages of 18 months and 5 years’ and she may very well be right.

But the thing that scares me the most about being a parent is what meg says: ‘the expected loss of self’.

My mother, who was/is a great mom didn’t have many interests or hobbies – she was first and foremost a mom and wife. I appreciate all the sacrifices she made for me. But – I feel bad for her. She never had a chance at having a life of her own – to develop a sense of self or the challenge of goals to achieve outside of parenthood.

I’m not sure if I can live my life like that – without being miserable. And yet I don’t know how to avoid it and still be a good parent.

I guess my challenge over the many months of waiting will be to figure out how I can arrange some ‘me time’ to develop who I am outside of a parent.

In the end though, if I can manage it, I think my child might be better because it – to see her mother be a good mother – yet have outside interests and goal along with that.

For the mothers out there – what do you think is the scariest part? And for those not-yet-moms – what scares you the most?